|Observe the tree sex.|
Image courtesy of dosomething.org
My instructor picked me up promptly at 4:15pm. She was already in the passenger seat so I took the drivers seat feeling super nervous. I am not trying to feed to the belief that Asians (especially females) can't drive, but I know my own abilities and I know that my anxiety of driving hinders my abilities to drive logically and well. I told her so and said that I've only drove for 12 hrs of my life.
|Image courtesy of drivinganxiety.net|
My instructor seemed nice enough. She is a middle-aged, caucasian woman who is very blunt. Shakily I started driving following her directions. While trying to focus on driving (not crashing) she progressed to tell me about her day. Every mistake I made she would comment on how everyone she taught that day did the same thing and how they didn't listen to her when she tried to teach them. I apologized because I know that I basically suck at driving (which is why I'm paying her to teach me) and am sincerely sorry for hurting her neck from braking too hard. She retorted with "You don't mean that so stop apologizing and just listen to me. I teach a lot of foreigners and they all say the same thing and never listen to me."
After telling me to turn right she then asked me "So, where are you from?" I answered as I normally would with "Brooklyn." Normally, I would not be offended when asked this question but it was her response to it that irked me. "No I mean where are you from, really?" I responded steadily with Brooklyn. She looked at me and said "So you were born in Chi-." "I was born in Brooklyn, my parents were from China though."
I know I may have a very 'Fobby' face, but they usually get that I was born here when I say Brooklyn and would just ask where my parents were from. Am I too sensitive towards small talk? Did she really mean nothing from this? Am I feeding too much to the Chinese stereotype? This is the thought that has been racking my brain since Saturday. Where is the line that divides thinking too much and letting people get away with being racist? I feel like I should be offended but I also can't help feeling like I am just getting angry about something she didn't even mean. (BTW when I told her I worked for a pharmaceutical company she responded with I figured that much.)
What I can't figure out is why I didn't say anything to her. But then what could I have said? I've always had trouble with confrontation especially if it is concerning myself. I think it is her passive racism that brought me back to a time in my childhood where I was basically helpless in defending myself against such acts. Have I grown soft and learn to accept the racism?
What are your thoughts? Should I switch instructors or should I man up and confront her?
Until next time!
<3 Nibs n Ink